we're at the top of the world, you and i

another evening in the borders cafe on church street in burlington.

another night of chai tea and chapter revisions and adds.

another night of helping my girlfriend with her senior portfolio.

but the last night.

it's strange, this feeling. i'm going to miss this time. our time.

i'm going to miss helping her find a place for commas.

i'm even going to miss removing "that" three or four times in single sentences.

at times, this has felt like a chore. and how could it?

no one else gets you like this.

no one else gets this side of you or me. no one else gets the twenty minute updates on my chapter revisions. no one else gets to tease you for poor grammar and navigate through the mess of strange punctuation or the lack thereof.

i'm going to miss this.

like all things, this shall pass. it's been real.

and a real reminder of many other things i miss and will always.

i miss my saturday movie and lunch with my father at the amc mercado. i never had the birds and bees talks or the afterschool specials on abc family. i had movies and discussions of characters and situations over bagel sandwiches and hot chocolate.

i miss football. even keeping it as simple as throwing with nareen in the park or trying to teach koosha how to spiral the ball. it never worked.

i miss going to the gym at 2am and spending hours talking about screenplays and sports and life, in general, with jay at the front desk and never working out. and then waking up early the next morning to go before work and make up for my distraction.

i miss the feeling of my bare feet against the coldest hardwood floor in new england while standing and playing guitar. just blasting the same four chords in punk schemes or scaling through bluesy leads. and watching woody on my bed and knowing he's just waiting for me to stop the noise and crawl under the covers so he can curl up against my feet.

i miss the tiny brook my father pulled over on the side of the road to teach me how to fish in and not catching a damn thing. but neither one of us did. we just stood there in the water and kept our fingers crossed.

i miss listening to jim cargill and his lectures about appreciating simple and fresh ingredients and food as an art that brings people together.

i miss not having any direction but every opportunity in front of me. it was med school then law school then congress then teaching then music then football then writing then law school again. all before i'd even thought of college. and you know what? i could have done any of it. and my parents would have supported any or none of those. and did. they believe(d) in me and always will.

i miss so much about the life i led before this book and before this city and before this step. but my life moves on and i couldn't be more blessed.

i'm a son to the greatest man and sweetest woman i've ever known.

i'm a boyfriend to the most beautiful girl i've ever seen and best friend i've had in years.

i'm so many things but none more than thankful.

we're at the top of the world, you and i. and i'm the luckiest man i see.